find a guy

Find a guy...
who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy...
who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world,
when you are in your sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends.

Wait for the one...
who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you
and how lucky he is to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."

starless, starless nights

The nights had been starless.

Everytime I need hope or encouragement, I would stand by the doorway, light a cigarette and look up at the stars. It somehow makes me feel that there is a wonderful world out there, that life is beautiful. Something about the way they flicker in the dark night has this weird way of comforting the aching soul.

But the stars can't be around all the time. The past few days have been terribly rainy; clouds covered the sunshine during the day, and kept the stars hidden during the night. Where are the stars now that I need them? All I can feel is the rain, pouring like teardrops from heaven. I could hear the rhythm of raindrops, the burst of water falling from the sky. Like tears overflowing, it's like the angels above are feeling my pain.

I had seen it coming. I knew that once I fall, it would be a lot harder to get up. But I dared to dive. I had dared to venture into that deep forest where there might be no turning back once I get lost. And I am now lost. I'm going round in circles, trying to find my way out, only to realize that I've been going around the same places for so many times. It was my fault. I had ignored the signs. I ran towards the direction where my feet took me, where the wind blew. It was a move I had dared to take, and I can't blame anyone, not even myself, for it.

The rain poured the whole day as if it never wanted to stop. That night I was with him and some friends, I looked up at the overcast sky, trying to find a star--just one star, one sign that could tell me that this will get to something. All I needed was one star, one last string of hope I can hold on to. But the heavens have failed me.

Last night, as I was standing in the middle of an empty parking lot, I finally found my star. Not just one, but two, then three, and before I knew it, hundreds of stars were all shining again for me. After those turbulent, stormy days, the stars were there again. The night wasn't perfectly starry, but at least they were there. And as I look out at the window overlooking the Makati skyline on a beautiful Saturday morning like this, I know that the rainy days are over, at least for today.

bored to death then... got tagged!

Three names you go by:
1. Mariz
2. Dude (my family branded me with this nickname)
3. Yuri (called by OPMB friends)

Three screen names you have:
1. AOLTechFMM (my AOL business address)
2. YuriNuriko (OPMB)
3. Mariz_Ken

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. hair
2. height
3. eyes

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. allergy marks
2. color
3. having a voluptuous figure (lol)

Three parts of your heritage:
1. Spanish
2. Filipino
3. Chinese

Three things that scare you:
1. mumu
2. losing my cellphone (though outdated na pero wala pang money to upgrade e)
3. losing my job

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. cp (kahit alarm clock na lang ang silbi niya sa akin because I do not have textmates)
2. sleep
3. food

Three of your favorite musical artists:
1. Beyonce Knowles
2. Enrique Iglesias
3. Usher

Three of your favorite songs:
1. 'Burn" by Usher
2. 'Confessions Part 2' by Usher
3. 'Foolish Games' by Jewel

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. comfort
2. calm
3. humor

Three lies and truths in no particular order:
LIES:
1. The Philippine Government!!! PURE LIE!
2. soulmate (it only happens with friends not lovers)
3. privacy (there are gadgets everywhere that will take your so-called private life)

TRUTH:
1. best things in life are free (love, peace, etc.)
2. ---
3. we are not alone! the truth is OUT THERE!

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. surfing the web
2. travel
3. watching TV/movies

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. travel
2. dance
3. go home and watch tv/movies

Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. marine biologist
2. tour guide
3. dancer

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Brazil
2. Paris
3. Batanes (sariling atin)

Three kid's names you like:
1. Ken
2. Yuri
3. Collin

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. travel the world
2. have my own dance/music studio
3. learn to overcome my fear of heights